Journaling is comforting. It’s a nice way to reflect on what happened that day, and to keep memories of daily activities.
I have a 10 year daily journal, where each page has 10 years’ worth of entries. I have 2 1/2 more years to complete it.
The first year, at the top of the page, includes the experience of meeting DDSO and hitting it off right away. We met online, spoke for hours on the phone for a week, met for dinner. That was it. We were so alike and knew how each other thought that there really was no courting period, save the first week on the phone.
Last year was really difficult, reading about the good times and the suffering years later. All of it made me sad.
I did make a mistake in 2006 where I was just so happy with DDSO that I didn’t write that much down. Now I look at the blank entry fields and just sigh knowing that, in this case, blank equals happy. It’s also made me more strict with myself to write an entry no matter what.
In January 2012, I also started an electronic journal. I use the (free) 280 Daily site where you get 280 characters to record your day. Some days it’s a little challenging to keep it to the limit, other days it’s way too many characters to fill! You can also save pictures with entries, and the ability to mark an entry as a “Day of Note.”
In the first year after DDSO passed away, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to continue the 10 Year Journal. After awhile, I decided to finish it. I wanted to show the story of me becoming happy again. Right now I’m at the point of becoming “not sad,” and am looking forward to the “being happy.” I am happier these days, rather than sad, but I’m still comparing how I’m feeling. I need to get to the place where I just am happy, without thinking about it. But I’m not pressuring myself. I know I’ll get there.
I wonder why both journals?
Surprisingly, they each have their own flavor and don’t necessarily have the same recollection for the same day. I almost faithfully write my 280 daily entry each evening, whereas I enter the handwritten one the next morning. Both are somewhat reflective, but I often have a different perspective on the day after a night of sleep. Additionally, the handwritten one provides more room and I can concentrate or expand on one specific topic if I wish.
Overall, I want to finish the 10 year collection, but also like the more succinct entries that need to fit a certain size.
No decision. Or rather, the decision to continue with both. For now anyway.