I still am a little angry with DDSO for getting colon cancer and leaving me. I know it’s not his fault he got sick although if he had had a colonoscopy at the age of 50, it might have been detected sooner. But then I tell myself that this might have meant that he would have started chemotherapy earlier and he would have died before we could spend that little bit of extra time together.
And I truly believe that the chemotherapy helped kill him. I don’t understand how dumping poison into one’s body is supposed to make you healthier.
The poison is kind of like Round Up (made by Monsanto) which is only supposed to target weeds and keep the genetically modified seeds/plants alive.
Chemotherapy medicine is supposed to target the cancer cells and not touch the other ones?
In the meantime, there are horrific side effects. The patient ends up taking a slew of other medications to combat all the chemotherapy side effects. And then there are side effects to the medicines combating the chemotherapy side effects. It is a miserable existence.
I have a friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer, in one breast. She chose to have a double mastectomy, and had one dose of chemotherapy. The treatment devastated her. She told me that she lay down on a chaise in her backyard after the treatment. Her neighbor called the police because she appeared to be dead. My friend decided not to have any more treatments, changed her eating habits to all natural and many vitamins, and take her chances. In today’s world, run by pharmaceutical brainwashing, that was a brave decision.
She is still here and DDSO is not.
Yes, I am aware there are many different variables around the two cases. It’s all about choices. Ones that we all hope we never have to make.
Weekends are the worst for me. DDSO and I spent Tuesday evenings and weekends together. We had plans to live together. Then he got sick; his doctors were closer to his home, my children were still home, and then he died, so we never got to that Paradise.
DDSO used to say “It doesn’t matter what we do as long as we’re together.”
We were somewhat exclusive when we were together. We enjoyed each other’s company so much that we were fine not making social plans. We did get together with friends every now and again, but it wasn’t necessary.
That makes weekends difficult. Still.
I am going to pick myself up and go do the same, or the same type of, weekend activities that DDSO and I did together. Now I get to go to Trader Joe’s, do work around the house, garden, make gazpacho, etc. on my own, or with friends. Even though the activities are the same, the experience is not. Life is different.
Disclaimer: This post is merely reflecting my personal experiences and observations. I am aware that chemotherapy has helped many people overcome cancer. I do not intend to disparage anyone’s decision to partake in chemotherapy. It’s all about choices.