Letting Go is hard to do. Relationships, Possessions, Children, you name it.
I have started cleaning out my house. On one hand it becomes addictive. Once you can throw some things out and donate others, it becomes easier to do some more. It becomes almost inspiring to do more. Almost like a personal contest – how much can I allow myself to get rid of now?
On the other hand, it is emotional. Memories. Draining. Sad. How did the children get so old? Decision Making.
I had gotten through yesterday of throwing some things away, putting some out on the curb hoping someone would drive by and find it useful before the garbage pick up (80% success rate so far), setting other items aside to take to Goodwill. I was fine with it all. Then I drove to my ex’s house and saw the decorative chairs from my grandparents’ house on his front step. We had placed them there when we moved in. I left them when I moved out. But geez, it just took the wind of my sails to see them.
It was all about having been through the day of letting go, and then being reminded again that I needed to let go of knowing that my grandparents’ wrought iron chairs were on my ex’s front steps. Whoosh. And I’ll go through it again the next time I visit him.
I have some of my grandmother’s books that she received as gifts, with inscriptions. One was from 1927. I love having these items. These, I won’t let go. I was wondering who will I leave them to? Who will value them as I do? My daughter was urging me to clean out the house over the winter break and seemed cavalier to my sentimentality. My son is off forging his way in his new world. I still have time to decide. Possibly a niece, nephew or daughter-in-law, or grandchild? (egads!, hard to imagine that now!).
The good thing about my Cleaning Out Plan is that I’ve realistically given myself plenty of time. About a year and a half.
Also – here’s an interesting blog about cleaning out that I received recently. I felt a spur of companionship reading it. It’s much more practical than mine. I needed that. A peer with a plan.